The sky is getting darker. The wind is blowing my face. Watching so many students coming and going by walking on campus with my little frustrated heart is painful. Pain is there, but I still don't know where it comes from. Maybe I know, but just feel so confused and lost. "OK! Let's go get a cup of coffee from the Starbucks!" I said to myself in mind. Coffee was always my best friend when I need some comfort. But, not this time. Pain is not gone after coffee comes in. It's still there. I can feel it. I wonder.....why???
And then I bow my knees and pray......"God! Could you please help me? Or at least tell me what's going on?".
He answers......of course not in words...but in feelings.
Now I know where my pain comes from and realize I am not going to get rid of it until something is done by myself. I'm going to do it even though the consequences may be even painful. I need to do this! I need to do this to remind who I am. I need to do this to prove who I will be. Yes...there are always so many things that I can't afford to lose. But this one? It's on top of them.
So I pray again....."God! Please give me the courage to do this!" "No matter what happens, I know You're always with me. Amen!"
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